“If someone is toxic in your life, rise above them. Don’t
let them bring you down.”
“If someone is a negative influence on your life, be the
positive one.”
“If someone treats you with unkindness, treat them with
kindness.”
I hate these messages. I hate what they represent. But what
I hate most, is how they condition people into inaction. Let’s take a look into
the myth of the hero and villain. We have our overgeneralized versions of each
to be sure (Buddha, Jesus, Satan, etc.) and those are wonderful ideals of each.
But what does it take to be one. In any action/adventure movie, if the Villain
did their thing and the hero just said, “You know what, I am just going to be
positive on this one and not lower myself to their level” the story would end a
different way.
For the hero to be the hero, they have to be willing to do
what most people just won’t do: Be worse than the villain. They have to go
further than even the villain is able to go. They have to be the bigger
monster. The difference between the two is that in the end, the hero has that
inner-monster under control and doesn’t need to unleash it on the world, unlike
the villain. Does this change the hero? Yes. It transforms them into an
ever-evolving creature. Buddha when he threw away Dukkha. Jesus when he went to
Hell to free souls. But the villain also becomes more evolved as it grows and
crosses new thresholds as well. Satan when he was unwilling to follow God’s
rule. The serial killer after each kill. Whether they are hero or villain, they
did those things that separate them from the rest of humanity: They were
willing to embrace the unknown.
So when somebody says not to stand up to the bully because
we don’t “want a scene”, they are really saying “Please don’t disrupt the norm.
I don’t want to be out of my comfort zone.” They are not taking the higher
road. They are taking the road of the sheep and calling themselves virtuous.
The sheep isn’t virtuous. The sheep is just there to be used in whatever way
deemed necessary. The virtuous are those who have embraced both hero and
villain but are still willing to treat others with dignity and respect. They
help pick up something when someone drops it. They do things for others and
don’t ask for a thank you. They are mostly invisible, except for in times of
need.
Many people will disagree with this. But how many of those
that disagree with this have gotten off the sidelines and jumped in the game
and actually did something that embraced that scary unknown?
