I
have been reading a book entitled “Originals” by Adam Grant lately and in one
of the parts in it he focuses on what is entitled Strategic Optimism and
Defensive Pessimism. When facing performance situations, strategic optimists feel
that they will end well. Therefore, though they plan ahead, they plan only
minimally because they do not have any anxiety to face. On the other hand,
Defensive Pessimists tend to apply “Murphy’s Law” to many situations and try to
plan for the worst possible scenarios, thinking of all the ways in which
scenarios can go wrong.
For the
longest time, I tried to be the more Optimistic type of thinker but it always
felt fake. I always felt like I was wasting my time trying to “stay positive”
and think that “everything’s going to work itself out”. I would think to myself
‘what if everything DOESN’T work itself out’ or (when I did my Triathlon) ‘what
if I drown while in the middle of the swimming portion of the event’? A lot of
the time for me it’s usually the ‘I am not ready for this’ mentality. As I have
learned more about myself through experiences though, I have realized that that
mentality wasn’t because I wasn’t positive enough: It was because I wasn’t
NEGATIVE enough. I wasn’t spending enough time figuring out how being Negative
could be a useful skill to be developed.
Learning
to be “Defensively Pessimistic” can actually be a strength if you use it to
make you prepared for the things you are wanting to do. If you tend to lean
towards the negative side of thinking, become that. DO that and do it fully.
That way you are able to utilize it as a means to help propel you forward
rather than nowhere, which is the downside of Defensive Pessimism. Those are
the people that complain about the world but never seem to do anything about
it. Those are the people that try to draw others into their personal dilemmas
while offering nothing to the relationship. Those are the people that find ways
to make everything other peoples’ faults but never take responsibility for how
they conduct themselves in life.
The
opposite is true for Defensive Pessimists. They may see the negative in things
but instead choose to work to fix them. They may see possible cataclysmic
scenarios unfold, but they will also work to prepare for them. Their negativity
is just a different way of looking at things, not something that argues with
reality. They aren’t necessarily negative people, but at least one of the ways
they problem-solve is negative, which is just fine. Allowing for more ways to
problem-solve in life can be a wonderful tool to have. Not everyone solves
things the same way but finding out what your strengths are can help one to
bypass some of the frustrations that following the crowd’s “just be positive”
mentality presents for some people.
One of
the other things I found interesting about Defensive Pessimists: They don’t
receive compliments too well. When complimented, they usually tend to shrug it
off and either give the credit to someone else or talk about what they could
have done better. It’s not their fault. They’re not trying to be rude or
anything, they just don’t see the world in that way. The other thing about them
is this: They tend to be the ones that don’t ever seem truly content. It’s not
because they are necessarily depressed or anything. They just always seem to
feel that there could be something more to be done. “There’s always something
to do!”
To sum it
up: If you see someone struggling with their job, telling them to stay positive
and cheer up may be exactly what they DON’T need at that moment. Maybe they
need help refining their problem-solving skills. And maybe, JUST MAYBE, those
problem-solving skills don’t fit the positive status quo of making things
cheery and perfect. Because remember, being Negative can be a highly powerful
thing.
All
Negatives!!! Raise your hands high!!! Or maybe just keep them in your pockets. Who
knows what those hands will be used for later.
